For years I
listened with envy to dramatic testimonies and wondered what was
wrong with me? How did I miss this? People could list the date and
time they opened their hearts to Jesus and they were saved. This had
me wondering, “Was Jesus not really in my heart?” “Why was I
not saved?” I grew up in the Methodist church; I attended Sunday
school every week; I sang in the Children’s Choir; I was baptized
and confirmed; I was even an acolyte. How did I miss my moment? The
personal accounts of how God brought them to their knees and their
heart was filled with the love and joy of Jesus…all in a lightning
bolt moment. Where was my lightning bolt? There was a time when I
was in grade school; Reverend Carlton cupped my chin in his hand, and
he stroked my cheek with his thumb. I honestly felt like Jesus was
touching my cheek, and I was lost in his loving gaze. I don’t
think I washed that cheek for a week. Was that my moment?
Thankfully, God
guided me to a room full of beautiful Christian women, who over the
years, would mentor and mold me into a loving sister of Christ. And
in this room, God allowed me to ask about the “lightning bolt”
moment. As it turns out, I do have Jesus in my heart! You see,
there are just as many of us who aren’t brought to our knees on a
specific date and time. Instead, Jesus just slowly takes hold and is
quietly there…always there. And we just know it. I’m kinda
hoping to still have some type of lightning bolt moment, but until
then, I will just carry on with Jesus and be happy knowing he truly
is right here in my heart.
By Deb Ellis
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