The Fake Boob

After reading through Deb Ellis' recommendation of Why Being Mom Is Enough written by Rachel Marie Martin, I smiled.  In a nutshell, the blog post discusses quality time with your children, big or small, and savoring those simple moments.  Mothering is not about where you take your children, but, instead, when you are with your children, completely present . . . the little occurrences.  For these seemingly trivial events are the ones which matter and may occur in the most unwanted of life circumstances.

Diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, I ended up having a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.  This immediate reconstruction involved replacing removed breast tissue with tissue expanders, which would eventually make room for breast implants.  Shortly after my tissue expanders were put into place, I developed an infection which resulted in the removal of my left tissue expander leaving wrinkled skin at the incision area and a lopsided chest.  To remedy this situation, I had to visit a medical supply store which sold specialty bras capable of housing the prosthesis or in layman's terms, fake boob.

Having to walk into the store with only a one-sided projection from my chest and then have virtual strangers eye my naked chest and make measurements was not an incident I would like to relive no matter how kind the women working in the store were.  I simply wanted the process to be over and was immediately pleased with any synthetic plastic breast they selected for my use. 

Not wanting my girls to be startled or scared by my scarring or the intricacies of the reconstruction, I told them the cool, gel-like shape which they found on my dresser was a boob protector  which I wore to protect myself after surgery, and they bought it.

With reconstruction now complete, I no longer need the fake boob for medicinal or aesthetic purposes, but I do need it for the laughter it brings not only me, but my hub and my girls.  This fake boob has now become an object to manipulate in order to play tricks on one another.  For example, any one night might find this fake boob in the pillowcase of any of our pillows.  When the discovery is made by the one being tricked, belly laughter is sure to ensue by all.  The girls may slip the fake boob in question under their shirt and demand for us to look at their "boobs" or "belly" depending on where the device may lie.  Recently while snowbound with 14+ inches of snow, the girls had a friend over for the day and had the run of the house.  While folding clothes on the couch, I could see their friend strutting down the runway (our hallway) with the fake boob placed atop her head as in how a beanie might be worn.  Thus, as one may guess, giggles soon followed.

This fake boob could be a symbol and constant reminder of a difficult year.  Instead, to me it represents God's greater plan.  Much happiness, love, and simple mothering moments have developed due to the presence of this fake boob and all it represents.  

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for."          Jeremiah 29:11

By Courtney Winkler