The Fake Boob

After reading through Deb Ellis' recommendation of Why Being Mom Is Enough written by Rachel Marie Martin, I smiled.  In a nutshell, the blog post discusses quality time with your children, big or small, and savoring those simple moments.  Mothering is not about where you take your children, but, instead, when you are with your children, completely present . . . the little occurrences.  For these seemingly trivial events are the ones which matter and may occur in the most unwanted of life circumstances.

Diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, I ended up having a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.  This immediate reconstruction involved replacing removed breast tissue with tissue expanders, which would eventually make room for breast implants.  Shortly after my tissue expanders were put into place, I developed an infection which resulted in the removal of my left tissue expander leaving wrinkled skin at the incision area and a lopsided chest.  To remedy this situation, I had to visit a medical supply store which sold specialty bras capable of housing the prosthesis or in layman's terms, fake boob.

Having to walk into the store with only a one-sided projection from my chest and then have virtual strangers eye my naked chest and make measurements was not an incident I would like to relive no matter how kind the women working in the store were.  I simply wanted the process to be over and was immediately pleased with any synthetic plastic breast they selected for my use. 

Not wanting my girls to be startled or scared by my scarring or the intricacies of the reconstruction, I told them the cool, gel-like shape which they found on my dresser was a boob protector  which I wore to protect myself after surgery, and they bought it.

With reconstruction now complete, I no longer need the fake boob for medicinal or aesthetic purposes, but I do need it for the laughter it brings not only me, but my hub and my girls.  This fake boob has now become an object to manipulate in order to play tricks on one another.  For example, any one night might find this fake boob in the pillowcase of any of our pillows.  When the discovery is made by the one being tricked, belly laughter is sure to ensue by all.  The girls may slip the fake boob in question under their shirt and demand for us to look at their "boobs" or "belly" depending on where the device may lie.  Recently while snowbound with 14+ inches of snow, the girls had a friend over for the day and had the run of the house.  While folding clothes on the couch, I could see their friend strutting down the runway (our hallway) with the fake boob placed atop her head as in how a beanie might be worn.  Thus, as one may guess, giggles soon followed.

This fake boob could be a symbol and constant reminder of a difficult year.  Instead, to me it represents God's greater plan.  Much happiness, love, and simple mothering moments have developed due to the presence of this fake boob and all it represents.  

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for."          Jeremiah 29:11

By Courtney Winkler

 

Metro East American Heritage Girls . . . Join Us!

American Heritage Girls is a nonprofit organization dedicated to the mission of building women of integrity through service to God, family, community and country. The organization offers badge programs, service projects, girl leadership opportunities, and outdoor experiences to its members. It serves as a catalyst for building young women of integrity and faith. It also broadens girls' social development through extra-curricular activities. This program of character building has successfully served thousands of girls since its inception and will continue to do so long into the 21st century.

For the past year, a group of hardworking moms and excited daughters have been meeting as an informal AHG group to see if there were any interest outside of our families for an organization of this kind. Troy United Methodist was so kind to allow us to meet monthly at church where we had over 60 girls attend our first gathering! The interest is definitely out there for families to have a Christ centered service-oriented organization for our daughters. We have had the privilege to serve homemade dinner that the girls prepared to those in need at a homeless shelter in Granite City, packed and sent out over 100 shoeboxes stuffed with goodies for Operation Christmas Child, had a great time camping this past summer, participated in a walk for unborn babies with Mosaic Crisis Pregnancy Center, walked in the Veterans Day parade and much more!

We are so proud to announce that after months of paperwork and hours of meetings Metro East American Heritage Girls troop IL2911 is now formally established! Troy United Methodist Church has agreed to be our charter organization, and we are very excited to see where God takes this partnership! I had the honor of naming the troop IL2911 after my favorite bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 which reads:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

It is our prayer that AHG troop IL2911 becomes a place where our daughters can investigate their relationship with Jesus Christ, where they can discover God’s will for their lives and where they can develop the heart, hands and feet of the gospel all while building relationships with each other and our community.

We would love for your daughters, granddaughters, neighbors or any other girls God might bring to your heart to come and experience this fantastic group of young ladies for themselves. Our membership is enrolling now from Kindergarten through 12^th grade! We would love for you to become part of the Metro East AHG IL2911 family!

Please contact Aimee Folmer at 618-659-3400 or Heather Budwell at 314-363-6011 for more information. Like us on Facebook at Metro East American Heritage Girls (IL)

By Heather Budwell

Connect with Barb Buck

RUBY: How long have you attended Troy United Methodist Church?

Ever since we moved to Troy, back in the fall of 1998.

RUBY: What drew you to this church?

Family-friendly atmosphere where the Word of God is taught not only to adults, but to the youngest of children as well. We wanted to attend a church where there were lots of opportunities for our kids to be nurtured in their faith and to develop friendships with other Christian kids from their neighborhood and their school.

RUBY: Which service do you typically attend?

9:00 Service

RUBY: Share a favorite Bible verse and/or inspirational song, and why this is a favorite.

Favorite verse: For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I have liked that verse for a long time because it speaks to God’s love for us and to the assurance that even when I might be discouraged or feel like I’ve lost my way, God knows the end of my story and has plans and promises beyond what I could ever fathom. I think this verse became even more significant to me after we adopted our daughter, because I am assured that even though she was born on the other side of the world into what many would call tragic circumstances, God had a plan and a promise for her life. I am blessed to be a small part of that story.

RUBY: Tell us about your involvement at Troy UMC and/or the community.

Over the years, I have been involved in the children’s ministry, been part of small groups and numerous classes, served on committees, hosted events and youth in our home, and sing as part of the 9:00 praise band.

RUBY: Tell us about your family.

I’ve been married to my husband Jordan for 22 years. We have four amazing kids, each with very distinct personalities and unique gifts. Andrew is 19 and in his first year of college. Claire just turned 16, and is a sophomore. Jackson, my third-grader, is 9. Ella just turned 7 and is in first grade. Quite an age span. Last year I had a senior in high school and a kindergartner. It gets pretty exciting around our house some days!

RUBY: Given that you had three children of your own, what led you to adopt another child?

I grew up in a family where taking in kids was something that my parents did quite often--kids who were in a bad situation for one reason or another and needed a place to feel safe and loved. Some stayed for a few days and others became a permanent part of the family. So I’ve always had a heart for adoption and thought that I would do that at some point in my life.

Several years and a few kids into our marriage, Jordan and I were particularly touched by words from Steven Curtis Chapman at a concert we attended. In sharing about his own family’s adoption journey, Steven shared his realization that God’s word tells us to “care for those in need… care for the least of these… care for orphans and widows,” not so that we can check off chores from our to-do list. Rather, they are invitations from the God who made us, who knows us so well, saying “if you want to know Me, then come where I said you’d find Me. Come to those who are the least of these…step out of your comfort zone and act in faith…be my hands and feet to the people that I created and I love.” He went on to say that it’s not just a story of adoption, but that it’s our story as Christians… the story of God’s grace. We were hopeless and helpless, and God came through space and time to find you and me, to take us into His heart, to adopt us into His family, to say that He will give us a hope and a future. He’ll give us a name, His name, and He’ll give us a love that not even death can take away.

A short time later, Jordan and I stepped out in faith and started the adoption process to add a new member to our family. At times, this journey has been a test of our faith, our patience and our notions of what it means to love unconditionally. Months later, we travelled to China to adopt our new daughter. We held Ella in our arms for the first time at the age of 13 months, appropriately, on Mother’s Day of 2007. Six years later, we can testify to the blessings that we have gained through this experience. Even though we have felt tested at many turns and have totally abandoned any foolish notion we had about having “parenthood” figured out, we are blessed beyond measure and can honestly say that our family was not complete until we brought that little girl home.

RUBY: What does being a mother mean to you?

That’s a big question. A mom is many things at different times and at different stages of their child’s life. At times a mom is nurturer, cook, teacher, disciplinarian, chauffeur, cheerleader, prayer warrior, role model, and the woman who loves their dad.

Author Lysa TerKeurst once said, as a mom, you can love your children, teach them, pass our faith along, and pray for them, but eventually you need to turn them over to God and trust Him enough to write their story—their own testimony. As someone who tends to want to control situations, I think that is a remarkable insight.

RUBY: What trait do you most admire in others?

I admire those who have traits of wisdom, patience and a gentle spirit, mainly because those are traits I do not possess, but wish I did!

RUBY: How may we contact you in order to make a further connection?

You can find me on Facebook, email me at jordanandbarb@sbcglobal.net or call my cell: 618-363-2847.

Packing Away the Past

Currently our home looks like a tornado knocked on the front door and spun around in every room leaving only mass chaos in its path. We are in the process of packing for a move coming up in just a few short…very short days. Although, having moved 6 times in our 12 year marriage, this is the first move where I was not completely consumed with caring for very small children and felt I had the opportunity to not only start months ahead, but to take the opportunity to open all the boxes that have traveled with us through the years and have yet to be opened and to purge, purge, purge. I really wanted to do this move right, do it organized, do it as stress-free as possible. Having all my kids in school full-time has made a huge difference in the process already, but with the flu arriving at our house and deciding it really likes it here and staying on and off for the past few months and having two snow days this week leading into a long weekend, it has felt a bit like I do have little ones at home again.

During the process of opening up these long-term parked boxes, rummaging through their contents and deciding what is trash, what gets donated and what gets packed, I realized I was moving at an incredibly slow pace. What I had envisioned as being a freeing and fun process directing me down the path of super organized she-woman was turning me more into a woman painfully trying to crawl through the sludge and pain of my past, a past staring back at me for the first time in years. It was released from its sleeping chambers, gasped breaths of fresh air and without hesitation pulled me into at moments paralyzing and painful flashbacks of the past. Seeing pictures of old friends who weren’t such a great influence in my life or finding love letters written by past relationships that should have been destroyed years ago all reached their long boney fingers up from their boxed graves and tried to pull me down to the depths of darkness and sin in my past. It was as if I could feel the shackles tighten around my wrists, and I could feel the weight of condemnation and despair flood my soul.

Just as quick as the darkness of my sinful past tried to cover my spirit and breath death into my heart, the light that burns inside of my soul spoke out with an even louder voice of truth. I heard as clear as day a voice say to me with strength and certainty “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"  2 Corinthians 5:17.  Such comforting words during this time. I felt my soul cry out “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me,” Psalm 51:10.

Joy filled my soul like water filling a bathtub. I once again had strength that only comes from Christ to keep the past in my rearview mirror and to look with great anticipation and hope to the future. The words of Jeremiah 29:11 whispered ever so sweetly in to my heart, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

We know without a doubt that this upcoming move is a gift from God and is His way of preparing a future for our family that we could not have even imagined only four years ago when we were homeless and surviving off of generous gifts from loved ones and government financial support while my husband was desperately searching for a job to support our family. Our present and future looked like nothing but a long, cold hike down the path of uncertainty and suffering. Not a great place to be with a one-year-old, a three-year-old and a five- year-old in tow. Feelings of helplessness and anger were pervasive. As He always is, though, God was moving even then. We were focusing on the challenges of the moment and were finding it extremely difficult to turn our eyes up to heaven. As He promised though, He was preparing a healing path for us to take that would restore our souls.

When God is moving, Satan uses his elite forces to distract, confuse, depress and lead astray God’s chosen children. I also know without a doubt that there is a war raging every day for our souls. We are distracted by our business, we are confused by relational conflict or our current circumstances, we fall deep into depression and our eyes fall from looking up to the King of Glory to focusing on haunting memories of our past or the place of suffering we are journeying through today. It is important to remember that there is a war going on right now for your soul. Ephesians 6:12-13 tell us “For our struggle is onto against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” The apostle Paul then tells us how to put on our spiritual armor of God in order to defend our souls from the enemy. Read Ephesians 6:13-20 to hear his instructions.

When is the last time you allowed distraction or business to create a hole in your armor for the enemy's poisoned arrow to lance your soul? When is the last time you took time to quiet the noise of life in your head and heart and to abide with the lover of your soul?

My encouragement to you is even amongst the business of moving through life, never knowing what the next box life has for you to open, but living and moving by faith that you would grasp ahold tightly to God’s word. That you would carve out time in your busy day to abide with Him, even if only for a few minutes. That you would fill your heart with His promises and that you would navigate your life with purpose and fervor towards your new identity in Christ.

May you fight the good fight.

Heather Budwell

Secret Santa Sister Surprises

This year I signed up for the Secret Santa Sister program at church because, you see, I love secrets and surprises, even the ones where the home pregnancy test dot changes color. Thank you, Lord, for Rebecca!

I was so excited! I had dozens of ideas of how I might surprise my designated sister . . . crazy and creative schemes to shower her with love and encouragement. I thought about renting a skywriting airplane, putting an ad in the classified section, staging a flash mob, getting a tattoo, asking the mayor to declare a day in her honor, having a flag flown over the capitol, naming a star after her, writing a song, and you get the idea, generally broad siding her with gee-whiz moments. Well, you know what happened?! The holidays happened. There were tangled lights and cold-tingled limbs; stocking stuffers and stuffing myself into stockings; dropping needles and gaining weight; carpal tunnel Christmas card-itis; parties, lunches, teas, and cocktails, dinners, balls, desserts, and brunches; Silent Night and loud malls, angels harking and dogs barking; board games and bored games; losing the tape, finding the scissors, finding the tape, losing the scissors, losing my mind, finding Nemo. Jesus got lost in the shuffle, somewhere between aisle two and ladies’ lingerie, and so did my Secret Sister. Oh, yeah, I managed to mail a few items, write a few notes, and sneak a few packages on her front porch, but I had planned oh so much more. It was my goal to bombard her, slather her, dunk her, plaster her, impress upon her, undergird her, surround her, and astound her with the love and grace of God through Christ Jesus. Since I failed to carry out my mission the first time around, let me tell you, Secret Santa Sister, what I would give to you if I could.

I would give you peace . . . not world peace, though that would be awesome, or whirled peas, though they would be healthy, but God’s peace, the peace that passes all understanding. It has the power to penetrate and overtake every ounce of our being and to smooth out and assuage every ragged emotion that is part of our human condition. It is the balm of Gilead, not sold at Bath and Body Works, and it does, indeed, make the wounded whole. It is found in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

I would give you hope, the hope that is spelled out in Jeremiah 29:11 . . . the Lord’s plans to “prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.” This kind of hope provides sure footing for our life journey and a spring in our step that far exceeds anything that a little pink pill can do. It opens wide our eyes to the friends who accompany us, the joys that bloom along our path, and the secure knowledge that we have a Divine purpose in our walk. Above all, hope is the assurance of eternal life in the very presence of our Creator God. It is found in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

I would give you faith -- unshakeable, rock solid, unwavering, unswerving, steadfast, Gorilla-glue-like faith. Yep, I would give you a little chunk of genuine faith, about the size of a mustard seed, because that is all you need to see you through the storms of life. I would give you the will to do faith work-outs, sorta like Zumba class and water aerobics, but not exactly. That is, I would encourage you to grow your faith muscle by regularly exercising it through the practice of the Spiritual disciplines (you’ll have to read up on those). Invite the Holy Spirit to be your faith fitness coach and boom, the faith you need to move mountains will be yours. It is found in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

I would give you grace or, as the definition says, “God’s unmerited favor.” In other words, I would give you the knowledge that you were, are, will be . . . in every tense . . . forgiven! I would also give you the mercy and goodness you need to extend that forgiveness to others – radical, extravagant, other-worldly forgiveness, because that’s what God offers us, self-centered creeps that we are. This kind of grace and forgiveness was made possible through the sacrifice of God’s only Son. It is found in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

I would give you love, in all its many forms: storge or affectionate love; philia or friendship love; eros or romantic love (We gotta keep those home fires burning!); and agape or unconditional love. Agape love is found you know where. It is found in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Oh, dear Secret Sister, on top of all that, I would also give you a diamond bracelet; a cruise to a Caribbean resort; a life-time’s worth of his and her massages; a personal chef, tailor, gardener, hairdresser, and housekeeper; a Mary Poppins babysitter at your command; every New York Times best-seller; a membership in the Chocolate of the Month Club; and a super sweet red convertible.

I would also give you good health, a bevy of wild and crazy girlfriends, and laughter, laughter, laughter. It is, without a doubt, the best medicine, unless your pelvic floor muscles are weak.

Finally, I would give you the answer to your question: “Who is my Secret Santa Sister?” Your secret sister is me! I love you, Courtney, and will continue to pray that peace, hope, faith, grace, love, health, girlfriends and laughter are yours, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. As for the rest, well, you’re on your own! When do you want to do lunch?

Sue Busler