Twigging Out

After going through a divorce six years ago, I had to learn how to navigate life as a single mom to a one-year-old; and since child support was sparse, but debt wasn’t, I had to learn how to do this as a broke single mom. I think most people find divorce financially devastating, going from a dual income to a single one, tackling debt, maybe selling a house, and I was no exception. I was blessed with a lot of love and support from family and friends and after a few years had pretty much recovered. In the intervening years, I was promoted in my job and my daughter, Grace, started school (what a world of difference it makes not paying for full-time child care!). I never wanted Grace to know of my stress or to feel like she didn’t have enough.

I’ve shielded her from my worries and struggles, giving her a joyful and happy childhood, but now I’m trying to figure out how to teach her that not everyone has what we have, that even when we had little, others had even less. Children in the world are hungry, and not just the ones she sees on the glossy brochures at our church. I want my daughter to know that families in our own community don’t always have enough to eat, let alone the dolls and other toys that she has. But I also want her to hold onto her innocence and optimism and believe in magic.

In May, I learned about the TWIGS program. The TWIGS program began in the summer of 2011, in Granite City, and seeks to provide free summer lunches for children of all ages who are at risk of not having a lunch during the summer months. You can learn more here. This summer TWIGS came to Edwardsville. Coordinated out of Emmanuel United Methodist Church, multiple area churches have provided volunteers to hand out lunches. This seemed like a great opportunity to give back in my community, and I could include my daughter.

Another girl her age from our church, Sloan, also came with her mom and both of them were eager to help. The first day, Sloan saw a girl from her class, and they gave her and her siblings lunches. After, Sloan said to her mom, “But she’s in my class?” And she and Grace hadn’t understood what the face of hunger could look like, that there were children they knew, children without enough. Both girls have a better understanding now and they also learned they can help and impact their community. They sit under the trees with the adults, listening to us chat about all of the wonderful people and businesses that have donated food and money to the TWIGS program, and I realized that beyond teaching her about the socio-economic diversity of our community, she has seen the goodness of people who can help and that she, too, can make a difference.

Sarah Kirkpatrick

Love Him like I Love You

It was January 24, 2008. It was a cold Sunday afternoon. I remember where we were. I remember what I was wearing. I remember the look on his face. I remember walking out of the house and seeing the looks on my girls' faces. Would this be the last time they would see their Mommy and Daddy together?? It was the day I thought our marriage was over. It was the most gutwrenchingly worst day of my life. And yet, however, it was also the most lifechanging.

I remember driving around on the snow covered country roads, crying out to God and asking "What do I do? I don't know what to do now!" And as clearly as if He was sitting right there in the empty passenger's seat next to me, I heard God say, "Love him like I love you." But how can I do that?? There's been so much hurt. So much said and so much done. How do I do that?? What does that look like? Love, forgive, show mercy, give grace....that's how God loves us. He sees us at our worst and loves us still. That's what I had to do.

It wasn't easy in the beginning. In fact, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's hard to break old negative habits. It's hard to forgive deep emotional hurts. It's hard to work on your marriage when even some of your closest family and friends are telling you that it's over. And yet, day by day, we loved each other more and more like how God loves us. And day by day, it got easier and easier. We've done more talking in the past year than we've done in the almost 18 years we've been together. We are open and honest about everything now...how we're feeling, what we're thinking, what our plans are, what are hopes are, what we love about each other and what we don't like so much. I'm not going to lie and say that everything is perfect now. It's not. We've learned that to have a great marriage, which is what we want, it takes a lot of work. It takes love, mercy, forgiveness, grace, respect, humility, compassion, humor and passion for each other.

We have gone through a lot these past few years. God has transformed our marriage from the worst to the best it has ever been. I love my husband more today than I ever have. I see him now for who he really is. He is a loving father. He is a giving son. He is a caring grandson. He is a talented musician. He is a genius mechanic. He is a terrific friend. He is smart. He is funny. He is giving. He is compassionate to those in need. He is goofy. He is humble. He is the man that I have been with now for nearly 18 years, and the man I want to be with until I am old and gray.

Today we can say without a shadow of a doubt that God has saved us from divorce. He has transformed us and transformed our marriage and our family. We love being together now. We love to spend time together as a family now. We miss each other when we are apart. I can truly say that our marriage would not be as strong as it is today if we had not gone through this really hard time in our marriage.  What Satan intended for evil, God has used for our good.  We knew that as we were walking through this dark time in our lives that God would use us to save other marriages and to change people's lives. Our hope is that we can share our story so that other people's marriages can be saved. Since that time, we have had several opportunities to talk with other couples who are going through the same thing we did.  Our message is one of hope.  It is NEVER too late.  God can and will REDEEM your marriage, if you ask Him to.  Nothing is impossible to God!! He is mighty to save!!!

by Lisa Powell