The Curse of the BFF

I used to have a school days book that my mom recorded all of my keepsake information in about school from K-12.  Starting in Kindergarten, the question was asked "Who is your best friend?"  I remember even from when I was really young always feeling pressure to have a best friend, a BFF.  Growing up in a fairly small school district, I always had a group of close friends, but always longed for a best friend.  It seemed like everyone around me had a best friend.  Someone that she always hung out with, talked on the phone with, someone to be inseparable with.  As I've grown older...much older...this desire to have a best friend has never left me.  I've always had close friends, and some that I considered my best friend, but then something always happened and we ended up drifting apart.  It is something that has been a constant longing in my life.  Lately I've been reflecting on how many great friendship moments I've missed out on because of my longing for a "best friend."  Why do I feel like my life is lacking something because I do not have a best friend?  What's wrong with having lots of great close friends? 

 

Now in today's culture the terms BFF and BESTIE seem to be everywhere.  My three young daughters are no strangers to the terms.  However, I have found myself being very careful with letting them label their friendships.  I do not want them to fall in the BFF trap that I have been lost in since Kindergarten.  I want them to appreciate all of their great close friendships and not get caught up in having one BFF.  I want them to look around at all of the great girls in their lives and count them all as blessings, instead of feeling left out because they do not have one specific BFF.  I feel like as a culture, we are setting our kids up for disappointment with stressing the BFF or BESTIE terms.  Maybe that's too negative of me, but I'm just trying to be realistic. 

Just recently I've come to terms with a lot of stuff in regards to this matter.  I've had numerous people trying to be sympathetic attempt to encourage me with things like "Jesus is your best friend," or "Your husband is your best friend,"  or even "Your mom is your best friend."  And while there may be truth in each of those statements, they are not the same as having that BFF that everyone is talking so much about.  So, I'm choosing to be grateful for the amazing group of people that I am blessed to call my friends.  God has brought SO many wonderful people into my life through so many different circumstances.  And those true friends, the ones I know would be there for me at the drop of a hat, that pray for me, and would never turn their back on me, those friendships are the ones that mean more to me than some BFF title.  I prefer to think of that term now as Blessed Forever Friends.  Because my life has been blessed forever because of those people who I can truly call my friends,  I refuse to get bogged down with negative feelings about myself because I do not have a BFF.  And I refuse to let my daughters grow up feeling that way about themselves.  I want to break the curse of the BFF for myself and my daughters. 

By Lisa Powell